The GOP and the Tea Party

My Republican friends are panicked now that they’ve learned that the Tea Party movement really isn’t a GOP AstroTurf front.  Yet their attempts to deal with the Tea Party movement have been ham-fisted, offensive, and counter-productive.  In fact, my interactions with the Republicans of late have led me further from the party. 

What don’t they get?

• Action:  The Tea Party movement is a movement and demands action, not rhetoric.  I don’t believe anything you say. Period.  So stop talking and start acting. 
• Focus:  The Tea Party movement expects focus on shrinking government.  Don’t tell me about all the bills you sponsored–tell me about the ones you stopped.  Tell me about the laws you let sunset.  Tell me about the laws you repealed.  Get the government back into the box we designed for it before you make another law.
• Penance:  Every time a Republican points out a Democrat misdeed, the GOP loses votes.  Fix your own problems–there are plenty of us to point out the other party’s flaws.
• Shut Up:  Last week, I witnessed two Republicans lose about 20 votes out of a possible 30 by rudely dominating an author’s Q and A session with a stern lecture on why everyone must always vote Republican. They had the audacity to argue with the author, who did a great job of raising his personal likability through the roof.  It was embarrassing, uncomfortable, and disturbing.  Some people recognized me and talked me afterwards.  I would not bother asking for their votes . . . every . . . again.
• People:  Most Republican party folks seem to fall somewhere on the Autism spectrum.  Fix that.  Hire someone to help you with it, because it’s clearly beyond your skill set. 
• People:  The people inside the party remind me of the people who dominated the clubs and student government in high school.  Good people, good looking, good grades.  But 99 percent of us were NOT them, and 98 percent of us were suspicious of them.  We still are.  The party insiders need to realize this fact and friend up with the people who good at straddling social groups. What they should NOT do is pretend to be something they’re not.  For example, don’t start a blog titled "What Up."
• People:  Stop perseverating on history and start learning anthropology.  Stop advertising and start marketing.  Specifically, hire a Loyalty Marketing expert to show you to make your best customers immune to competitors’ offers.
• Third Parties:  Your abject terror at the though of 3rd party candidates gives rise to 3rd party candidates. I’m tempted to run as a Libertarian just to freak you out.  Third parties arise because YOU ARE NOT DOING YOUR JOB. So instead of telling people they’re stupid for voting for a 3rd party candidate, how making such candidates unnecessary by doing your friggin’ job in the first place?

In the end, the Republican Party is full of good people who really don’t know how to relate to people.  I believe that the party’s platform is our best, modern policy for maximizing human potential–that doesn’t require relating skills. 

For the GOP to succeed, it will have to work with people who translate between the real world and the quasi-government world of party politics.  The Democrats did that in 2008.  If the Republicans humble themselves a bit, they can dominate in 2010 and 2012.  But asking for humility from a Republican is quite a request.